I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize