I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
