But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
