is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
