omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
