I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
