my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
