She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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