her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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