As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
