Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize