im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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