WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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