Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
