using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize