She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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