I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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