theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
