i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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