Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
