So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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