I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
