the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
