? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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