you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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