i just had sex bonerless
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Boobs are out for the taking
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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