Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
