You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
