This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How does one acquire holy water?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
