I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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