Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
