ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
