He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
