i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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