Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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