I'm drive I can fine osifer
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize