She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
