Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize