god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
