I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You made out with two different species that night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
