Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
