Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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