Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
as a side note pls kill me
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize