in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
