Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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