Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
