he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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