we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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