i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
