This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm really busy with my period
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