She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
