Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera

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(304): View more from West Virginia

His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.

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(239): View more from Florida

Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

What time did you start drinking?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe isn't a time...

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(250): View more from British Columbia

This is my life. Enjoy the view

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing

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