Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
