I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
