I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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