Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
