woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
